Vampire Grandma

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Like these teeth?

October 19, 2016

With these teeth, it’s hard not to bite your tongue, sometimes.

vampire-grandma7

I should bite my tongue more often, actually. Everybody says so. I mean, I should stop swearing in the big fat upscale grocery store when customers cut in front of me. I should stop swearing when humans run red lights and tailgate. I should definitely stop swearing in front of my grandchildren. I’m trying. I’d say I’ve got it 97% under control. (But if you really want to know, ask my son and daughter-in-law.) When I was raising my son, I had to give him a quarter every time I said a “bad word.” I did give him quite a lot of money. But there is so much about human life that is infuriating/frustrating/****ed up.

But I’ve made a promise: no more nasty language and no more taking the Lord’s Name in vain. No more of that ****.

So when the teeth get in the way and I put another hole in my tongue, sometimes I screw up my face and think a word I would have said as a human. I guess I still have a ways to go yet until I’m the perfect vampire grandma.

Filed Under: Fashion and Food, Fine Grandparenting

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