{"id":122,"date":"2016-10-19T10:48:35","date_gmt":"2016-10-19T14:48:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/?p=122"},"modified":"2016-11-06T12:57:03","modified_gmt":"2016-11-06T17:57:03","slug":"like-these-teeth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/like-these-teeth\/","title":{"rendered":"Like these teeth?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>With these teeth, it&#8217;s hard not to bite your tongue, sometimes.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-123 alignleft\" src=\"http:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/17\/2016\/10\/Vampire-Grandma7-169x300.jpg\" alt=\"vampire-grandma7\" width=\"169\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/17\/2016\/10\/Vampire-Grandma7-169x300.jpg 169w, https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/17\/2016\/10\/Vampire-Grandma7-768x1365.jpg 768w, https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/17\/2016\/10\/Vampire-Grandma7-576x1024.jpg 576w, https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/17\/2016\/10\/Vampire-Grandma7.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 169px) 100vw, 169px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I should bite my tongue more often, actually. Everybody says so. I mean, I should stop swearing in the big fat upscale grocery store when customers cut in front of me. I should stop swearing when humans run red lights and tailgate. I should definitely stop swearing in front of my grandchildren. I&#8217;m trying. I&#8217;d say I&#8217;ve got it 97% under control. (But if you really want to know, ask my son and daughter-in-law.) When I was raising my son, I had to give him a quarter every time I said a &#8220;bad word.&#8221; I did give him quite a lot of money. But there is so much about human life that is infuriating\/frustrating\/****ed up.<\/p>\n<p>But I&#8217;ve made a promise: no more nasty language and no more taking the Lord&#8217;s Name in vain. No more of that ****.<\/p>\n<p>So when the teeth get in the way and I put another hole in my tongue, sometimes I screw up my face and <em>think<\/em> a word I would have said as a human. I guess I still have a ways to go yet until I&#8217;m the perfect vampire grandma.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>With these teeth, it&#8217;s hard not to bite your tongue, sometimes. I should bite my tongue more often, actually. Everybody says so. I mean, I should stop swearing in the big fat upscale grocery store when customers cut in front of me. I should stop swearing when humans run red lights and tailgate. I should [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-122","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-fashion-food","category-fine-grandparenting","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/122","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=122"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/122\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=122"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=122"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=122"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}