{"id":115,"date":"2016-10-18T11:50:48","date_gmt":"2016-10-18T15:50:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/?p=115"},"modified":"2016-10-22T19:05:05","modified_gmt":"2016-10-22T23:05:05","slug":"berry-knotwell-is-forced-to-write-a-list-of-her-favorite-things","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/berry-knotwell-is-forced-to-write-a-list-of-her-favorite-things\/","title":{"rendered":"Berry Knotwell Is Forced to Write a List of Her Favorite Things"},"content":{"rendered":"

In Ruth Leslie Wright’s office, Berry Knotwell took her first semi-normal breath since opening her mail. The Arts and Crafts furniture calmed her, heavy oak and chestnut, polished dark. Berry plunked herself down in a handsome chair, so sturdy in her delicate world. She sat forward, her face in her hands as Ruth Leslie spoke to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK\u2014you feel surprised, besieged, crazy.\u201d So here\u2019s what I want you to do, Berry: make a list of your favorite things.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you kidding? I hate that Chicken Soup for the Soul shit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter if you hate it or not. Do it.\u201d Ruth Leslie had her courtroom voice on.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt won\u2019t make me feel better. It\u2019ll make me worse. It would be a lie,\u201d Berry shouted.<\/p>\n

\u201cStop resisting. You have nothing to lose.\u201d<\/p>\n

Berry put her hands in her pockets and started to cry. Ruth Leslie didn\u2019t change her tone or her vampire insistence. Her voice was piercing: \u201cBerry, I know you think you know what to do. But you don\u2019t. That\u2019s one thing you\u2019ve got to get clear about right now if I\u2019m going to help you. And of course I\u2019m going to help you. But like the sign says: \u201cLEGAL ADVISOR.\u201d You come to me for ADVICE. And that\u2019s what I give you. ADVICE. So listen to it.<\/p>\n

And follow the ADVICE I give you. A lot of smart people like you would rather do it their own way. Don\u2019t. I repeat: Do it like I tell you.\u00a0 You\u2019re the type to mess with the recipe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOK. I won\u2019t,\u201d said Berry, pulling off the pills on her big, sloppy sweater. \u201cI\u2019ll go home and write the damn list.\u201d But Ruth Leslie knew Berry was lying; \u201cDo it right here, right now. Write twenty of your favorite things. Then you can go,\u201d Ruth Leslie said, hands on hips.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine. Give me some damn paper.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Berry\u2019s List of Favorite Things<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. old fashioned theater ushers who actually kick people out for texting during the movie<\/li>\n
  2. the abrupt speed change when police cars appear on a crowded Interstate<\/li>\n
  3. a good emergency break, one that doesn\u2019t stick<\/li>\n
  4. somebody handing me a magic 8 ball at a moment of indecision<\/li>\n
  5. grandkids playing in my jewelry box, a ring on every finger<\/li>\n
  6. washing the jam from between a baby\u2019s toes<\/li>\n
  7. a vacuum I can’t afford–one that actually picks up animal hair<\/li>\n
  8. jiggling a mobile to distract a baby on a changing table<\/li>\n
  9. watching my buddies, the crows, eat animal crackers<\/li>\n
  10. getting another animal at the Transylvania shelter<\/li>\n
  11. a vacuum I can’t afford–one that actually picks up animal hair<\/li>\n
  12. getting another animal at the Transylvania shelter (I know I’m repeating myself)<\/li>\n
  13. ignoring my neighbors\u2019 complaints about my animals<\/li>\n
  14. black gel pens and broken-hearted poems<\/li>\n
  15. using the shredder on poems<\/li>\n
  16. using the shredded poems for bedding in the gerbil cage<\/li>\n
  17. getting an animal-shelter gerbil to take to the grandkids<\/li>\n
  18. ok, ok\u2014 grandkids!! everything about them<\/li>\n
  19. and you, dear Ruth Leslie Wright, I\u2019m grateful for you and your free advice<\/li>\n
  20. free choice\u2014not to do #20. So there. Done!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    In Ruth Leslie Wright’s office, Berry Knotwell took her first semi-normal breath since opening her mail. The Arts and Crafts furniture calmed her, heavy oak and chestnut, polished dark. Berry plunked herself down in a handsome chair, so sturdy in her delicate world. She sat forward, her face in her hands as Ruth Leslie spoke […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-115","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-ruth-leslie","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/115","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=115"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/115\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=115"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=115"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faculty.cortland.edu\/boynton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=115"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}